[Christopher Halsey]

These made me chuckle but a very serious issue.

Center for Disease Control Reveals Zombie Apocalypse Plan
Bad news: hell is full and the dead are walking the earth. Good news: the government has a plan.

Despite a reputation for laziness and incompetence, government agencies pride themselves on being prepared for any eventuality. The Center for Disease Control is no exception, and its latest blog entry is proof of that.

Following a brief rundown on the "whats and whys" of zombies, the post outlines the United States government's official plan in the event that hordes of shambling corpses start hungering for our delicious brains:

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It's likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated.

Admittedly, what the plan lacks in Brooksian utility toward decapitation, or weaponized Servbot heads, it more than makes up for in being incredibly dull.

The dark truth here is that the CDC has concealed a general purpose disaster preparedness primer in the geek-friendly camouflage of ambulatory, rotting corpses. Teaching people how to prepare for earthquakes and tornadoes is a great idea, but co-opting the memetic love we all share for zombies just feels like a violation of our geek trust tantamount to Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave.

Our government should be ashamed of itself.

Source: Center for Disease Control

British City Council Unprepared For Walking Dead
A single Freedom Of Information request has exposed the almost complete lack of zombie preparedness in the British government.

Concerned about the apocalyptic consequences of a possible undead uprising, an unnamed citizen (using the almost too appropriate pen name "concerned citizen") sent the following missive to the Leicester City Council:

Dear Leicester City Council,

Can you please let us know what provisions you have in place in the event of a zombie invasion? Having watched several films it is clear that preparation for such an event is poor and one that councils throughout the kingdom must prepare for.

Please provide any information you may have.

Yours faithfully,

Concerned Citizen

Normally this is where you'd expect the council to offer a sarcastic reply slathered in dry British wit, but instead the response was actually somewhat thoughtful. Lynn Wyeth, head of information governance, spoke to the BBC on the subject, and though she admits that the question made her laugh, she also points out that while no official reference to attack by shambling hordes of corpses exists in the City Council's emergency plan, there are "some elements" of the plan that could be applied in just such a situation.

Why the polite response when so many of you reading this article mentally labeled the concerned citizen a "nutbar" after the second sentence? "To you it might seem frivolous and a waste of time ... but to different people it actually means something," Wyeth said, adding that her office has received many FOI requests regarding hauntings in public buildings.

"Everybody has their own interests and their own reasons for asking these questions," she adds.

It's interesting to note that this story comes less than a month after the American Center for Disease Control voluntarily revealed its official plan for zombie apocalypse.

As an American, it would be uncouth for me to point out the typical British inability to keep up with her former colonies, so instead I will just continue petting this bald eagle, secure in the knowledge that I probably won't be torn apart by the ravenous dead any time soon.

Source: BBC

British Zombies Attack Unprepared City Council
If there's one thing zombies love more than delicious human brains, it's the hubris of British government employees.

On June 10 we ran a piece on the Leicester City Council, detailing the local government's bemused reaction to a letter asking if they had a contingency plan in case hell should ever become full, prompting the dead to again walk the earth.

In its official statement the council was polite, exhibiting a stoic reserve worthy of Alfred Tennyson, though spokeswoman Lynn Wyeth did admit to giggling at the query.

That was a mistake.

One week later, the Leicester City Council was overrun by a horde of 150 shambling corpses, clawing hungrily at the windows in a lethargic bid to sup upon a buffet of tasty frontal lobes and piquant hippocampi.

Fortunately for Council employees, no one was messily devoured, likely because the stunt was the brainchild of one James Dixon, a citizen who organized the "mass shamble" via Facebook.

"We went for a shamble. We shambled from the clock to the city council offices -- about half a mile through the city centre," Dixon told the BBC.

"There were just a couple of security guards at the building. We didn't try to get inside -- just pressed ourselves up against the glass like zombies do."

"A few of us are in the pub now -- it's been a really good day," Dixon added.

The event attracted stares from onlookers, including one Chris Porter. "People were going about their normal routine when all of a sudden a steady horde of zombies came lumbering into view," Porter said.

"It was astonishing how everyone just seemed to stop and stare. Of course, if it had been a real zombie attack I think folk would be running for their lives," he added.

Meanwhile, here in The States, zombie attacks are at an all-time low thanks to the vigilance of the Center for Disease Control (and, presumably, Frank West).

Source: BBC

Interestingly in that last case had you actually have believed them to be real zombies you might get off without a jail sentance if you killed them. You are allowed to use 'reasonable force' to defend yourself which does include preemptively striking, the only catch is you need to be able to convince a jury that you used reasonable force in the situation. I think most people would consider killing a zombie if attacked by one in order to save your life to be reasonable force so it would just be a matter of convincing the jury that you panicked and actually thought you were about to be attacked by the undead. I wouldn't recommend trying it though just incase.

[Ryuken]

My only question is, would animals be affected by the disease or not? In some movies and other media about zombies, you see birds, dogs and other animals feasting on corpses and not being affecterd, and in some cases you see them affected. If animals were not effected and thus did not become infected/zombified...I would be having myself a pack...no a herd of Irish Wolfhounds and a whoooooooole lot of guns and weapons.

I love the bit at the end about the folks going on a zombie "march" hehe. I like how the CDC would conduct an "investigation" if there were a zombie outbreak. That better be one fast a$$ investigation, but knowing how government and similar groups work the world would be overrun before they managed to come up with anything.