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Delveon The Hellstromm Legacy (Book series i'm writing)

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Draxx, Fri 26 May, 2023 10:54 PM
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    #1
    Title spells it out, but I'm a writer now. I'm technically disabled. Can barely walk, hands don't work well do to neck injuries (that i'm pretty sure i got head banging in the 80's and running into tree's on my dirt bike). But I have an active imagination and loved reading fantasy books, but they all had the same tropes. Dark ages, or middle ages kind of stuff. Barely any real "magic" or an explanation on how it worked in that setting. So given I have nothing but time on my hands now, i decided to give my own try. So the world of Delveon was born.

    Now it still has it's fantasy elements. Elves, Halflings, Dwarves, Gnomes and dozens of others along with dragons and other mythological creatures, but I put a spin on it. What if it wasn't the dark ages or middle ages, but the industrial revolution of the 1800's? People walking around with revolvers and rifles, and others wielding powerful magic at their fingertips? All manner of things were invented in the 1800's from steam cars and boats, to the telegraph, telephone, steam tractors, street-side vendors, electric lamps, films and pictures, the stock market, the list goes on. How would magic and technology get along? So I started writing.

    The story follows a young lady named Crystal, who's parents are very wealthy and have political power. She's able to use magic inherently, unlike others who have to study the spells first. As the story goes along she explains she's one of the few who can pull the magic straight from her blood instead of pulling it from a tome or scroll first. This of course, makes her arrogant and pompous. She gets a summons from the Emperor along with dozens of others for a problem he's having, but believes as old as he is, should be left up to the younger generation. So she along with a knight named William, and a cleric named Tia, are summoned as well.

    William is a knight yes. I figured since they were still using armor during the Napoleon wars (which didn't end till 1815) because they were bullet proof, why wouldn't they use special material and magically enhanced armor for the same reason? He's also Crystal's foil. She's arrogant, he's thoughtful, she' abuses power, he's honorable and they have disagreements on how things should be done.

    Tia is a half-elf cleric who's shy but knows she has to be the mediator between them, trying to explain to the other what is happening and why. She's also a medic and can use magic to heal. She has her own internal conflicts to resolve and she's naturally introverted. So Other characters have to actively engage her outside of the whole "healing" part of her life.

    Along the way, other characters are introduced with their own personalities and flaws. I actually have beta readers before I published and they all loved how I was able to keep them all different. The main plot of the story is a mystery. The Emperor knows there is something wrong and that kick starts the entire book. Crystal, William, and Tia are tasked to figure out what is going on. Now this is where I differ from other authors, I NEVER give the bad guys point of view. Anything the bad guys are planning is found out from the characters through investigation or interrogation. This builds on the suspense because they could strike at any time, anywhere, and their motives are made clearer as the book goes on.

    The secondary plot is a love story, and there is a lot of character development, for everybody. There are no Mary Sue characters (I hate those) and made sure everyone has some issues about something, and no one is every right about everything, or is perfect in every way.

    But there is a third plot hidden in the book. I don't make it obvious, nor do I spell it out. I put in a lot of set up's and payoffs throughout the book, and some don't pay off for a few more volumes. The idea is giving it re-readable value. Words spoken, descriptions of places or things, and even locations in general, take on new meanings when you know more later on. Why did a character mention an event, or phrase his/her wording as they did? Why was a description for something put here if it had no bearing on the story at the time?

    Also, it's somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster. There is comedy and grief, anger, and suspense. My wife was laughing and crying when she read it, and my alpha and beta readers said they also ran the gambit of emotions throughout the book, mostly because I wrote it in the present tense. In my head, i viewed it as if i was describing a movie to someone who is vision impaired, giving them the most vivid view of the world I could. If someone is running i say "he's running", not "he ran". I think it adds to the excitement.

    The book is on amazon and the first few chapters you can read to see if you like it. Now being I did all this myself without a publisher, theres bound to be a few errors in it. I've been reading my hard copy and noticed at least 6 or 7 things that made me wonder if it was a conversion error or something, but going through and fixing it with amazon is a HUGE PAIN. They have no help line and you can't just take out the bad manuscript and put in the good one. You have to email them and hope they return it some day. And since I emailed them about this 3 months ago and haven't heard back after multiple tries, I'm stuck with it. The errors are so minimal I don't think it hurts the story. So far I've gotten great reviews. I have a Facebook page for it and there is art of the characters.

    Currently i have 1 book up for sale, going to release 2 more soon and hope to drop another around Christmas time.I hope some of you check it out and let me know what you like and hate about it.
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    #2
    You have a great story and judging from the Amazon preview, I like your writing. I put it in my wish list.
    Miles
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    #3
    Thanks! I've got 6 or 7 books written already in the series and should be releasing more soon. Finding a cover artist and getting the copywrite takes time (and money). I really hope yiu enjoy and welcome any feedback.
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    #4
    So I figured I would tell a little about the book I wrote. Maybe it will drum up some interest and who knows, maybe one day I'll be famous one day. I'm rehashing some previous stuff, but focusing mainly on Crystal.

    So the setting is the wild west in the year 1865. But heres the thing, the 1800's werent all like dodge city, ponderosa, and the quick and the dead. If you seen movies like the time machine, or Wild Wild West, or even Dracula, the cities where much more civilized with technology and paved roads. So the book opens on a city that would be comparable to New York, San Francisco, or even London of that time period. Some steam powered contraptions, steam powered and sailing ships, horse drawn carriages, and street vendors. So it starts as a western era fantasy. Gun's, contraptions, and the such are commonplace.

    Here's the twist, and I know from looking at posts on here, people LOVE fantasy. Like DnD style fantasy. This is why I think a lot of you would like this book is the World of Delveon is also a magical fantasy setting. Lighting bolts, frost bolts, energy draining rays, fireballs, magical devices, multiple races such as Dwarves, Elves, Halflings, Dragons, Minatours, Kobolds, Gnomes and a lot more, inhabit the world. Different dialects, different accents, different cultures are part of the world at large. Magical armor can stop bullets, fantasy metals, magically enchanted vehicles, and odd ball mix of technology and magic are also part of the world.

    The book itself has 1 main character, several side characters that get a LOT of attention for both personality and growth of their own, and many side and background characters that over the course of the books get more flushed out. To me, if I put something in there, i'm making it worth your wile to know why it's there. So every detail in the book means something.

    The main character is Crystal Hellstromm. She's the girl in my profile picture. She's 19 when the book starts and is the daughter of a rich, but short, black engineer named Jack. More on him later. Because of her dads wealth and status, she's believes she's better than most, but takes her position seriously. She is magically gifted in a way that allows her to cast magic straight from her blood into exsitance, unlike most others that must use a book or scrolls to study and pull the magic from first. So casting magic is the same, but how it's gathered is different. Her being gifted means she never needs a spellbook or a rack of scrolls (like a sorceress) but others can study magic and pull the magic from the pages and store them in their own body for use later. (typical wizard stuff). This gives her a sense of superiority over the other magic users, and common folk. So yes, she's a narcissist, but not without good reason. Rich and has gifts very few others can boast about. Her dad tries to curb this along with her mother, but she wouldn't be acting like a teenager if she listened to her parents. (be a short and boring story too) It's not her only flaw, but the biggest.


    Jack is a secondary background character, but important. He's a weapons engineer by trade, but also does steam powered vehicles like tractors and commercial goods. Jasmine is his wife and a half-dragon, also ivory skinned. and also gifted in casting spells without study. She also has an older brother Andrew who is dark skinned and has no magical capabilities.

    So Crystal starts off showing as a typical teenager, doing her own thing when she is summoned by the Emperor of Rose Harbor. The summons didn't state exactly what it was for, but the Emperor has a reputation for getting upset when those around him aren't doing what they are told. He gives a lot of autonomy to the people, but still holds the final say in anything. Crystal responds to the summons as anyone who is in a powerful house and raised with the best upscale manners by arriving in her families personal magical steam car extremely early, and dressed as if she was a princess herself. She even notes that to be summoned to see his highness means you show up looking your best to impress. Appearing for a summons and dressing like a hood rat could get you thrown out, and that's if you're lucky.

    As the book progresses, she tries to be a firm and all knowing leader, but the world outside the city doesn't conform to her uptown rich girl norms. People don't treat her with any kind of respect in other towns, all the while bandits and wild monsters put her and her entourage in danger constantly. She takes on dangerous tasks, picks fights, and even gets viewed as the larger problem at times. As the book goes on, the people around her, and the experiences she picks up from all the wrong choices and not trusting others to help her with decisions, fades away. It's not all gone and even by the end of the book she's still making mistakes, but she's consulting others before making any choices. Her temper and narcissism are still key parts of her personality and even after she learns lessons, her flaws shift towards other things. She still thinks she's better than others, but she doesn't treat them like trash anymore, and even values their opinions. She's not going to do the dirty work herself, that's what the help is paid for, but the people she viewed as commoners, she treats decently.

    I add flaws to characters to give them more believably. No one is perfect and any character created should have flaws and vices. A character that knows everything, has the perfect solution to all problems, and never gets hurt is boring. She gets hurt, she makes mistakes, people in the book, and even the reader themselves, might even hate her for what she does. She's uptight, cruel, and shows little regard to others. You could argue that she's not a hero at all, but a villain. Are the people fighting her actually in the right? I base the concept of this kind of story telling as "everyone is the hero of their own story, even the villains." So is that what you're reading? The story written from the villan's perspective? Even good people do bad things. Is she evil or just nieve? Does the redemption at the end resolve her of the things she has done, or was she justified all along? Who is actually right, or is everyone in the wrong?
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    #5
    I know been a few days since I updated. Didn't want to flood the place. So next thing I'm going to talk about is William Blakely.

    When designing this character I needed a foil to Crystal, but not in an antagonistic way. She's overbearing, but he's humble. She's narcissistic, but he's always putting others before himself. He cares about the troops under his care over his own wellbeing. She exploits the law where he applies it in good faith. She's only 4'11, where as he's 6'5. He's also a main character and gets almost as much screen time as Crystal. It's how I balance the story. No one likes a goody two shoes, nor a jerk alone. So i put them together to give the story a comedic tone as a secondary.

    Being he's very opposite of her they do fight and argue over everything. Even the dumbest things like their own mission. He understands that she's in charge overall, but was also given implicit instructions when it came to the non diplomatic side of things, he had control. This would come to some funny and serious interactions between the two because their world view are very different depending on what was asked of them. She likes to show off that she's rich and powerful, not really carring that William is also from a powerful house, they just don't flaunt their wealth, and use it to better others over themselves. So William looks like a common soldier, and she treats him as such. This grind him the wrong way that she's so willing to just spend money and gold like it was unlimited while William whom works on the docks and interacts with common folk who struggle. As the story progresses, and they are forced to be around each other for days at a time, their conflict effects those around them.

    William was raised from a small boy that honor, kindness, and empathy will go farther from a leadership roll, than being just stern alone. A leader must be strong, but that doesn't have to result in being mean to those under his command. The idea of "knights" has been fading for over a hundred years and he's one of the last ones who still hold some kind of knightly code of honor and conduct, thus refuses to use a gun. Hand to hand combat where you can see your foe, the fear, resolve, and raw emotions knowing only one will walk away if preferable to firing a weapon and never even knowing if you hit your target. Being the year is 1865 "bullet proof" is easily accomplished wit ha good sturdy breast plate and thick helmet, but he dons the full armor.

    So how does he fit in the story? I couldn't have Crystal who's a wild, self centered, and egotistical main character without someone else to rein her in. A good story will find a balance where characters with flaws will have to have someone with flaws that counter them. Also, it gives a way to show growth in the story. How much can Crystal learn from William seeing his ways work just as well as hers. How much can he learn from her? Sure she's selfish and rude, but she does show she cares about others in her own way. Granted it's as flashy as possible, but well intended.

    The arguments these 2 have in the books most people in relationships both work and intimate can relate to. They argue over law applications; they argue over if mythical monsters can fly or not, and even the spirit of the trip itself. The two have very different ideas about their rolls and even fight over that.


    Oddly enough this gets a chuckle from my wife and a few of my beta readers because it looks authentic as to how people will argue over the dumbest things, and gives a sense of realism to the story. Often, you don't get to see common life for characters, just the flashy adventure side, but with my story seeing the every day lives outside of the adventure gives me a way to world build, and fill in lore, all the while setting up not only the next leg of the book, but future books. Books shouldn't all be GO GO GO. Need to give the reader a chance to let the events sink in and see how the characters are outside of stressful situations. And also how those situations change them. Look at Iron man for example. In the first movie he's self centered, watches a lot of tv, goofs off a lot, womanizes. As the events of the movies go by he becomes more humble, he has flashbacks, and panic attacks. But without those moments between action scenes showing him sitting in his chair, or eating at a diner, you would never know how the crap around him is damaging his emotional state. I do this with William and Crystal, along with the other characters, even in minor rolls. No one goes through life and isn't changed by it in even small ways. Williams journey, from start to finish, takes him to places he's only heard about. Where weapons and technology very widely from the ones he's familiar with.
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    #6
    Getting ready for my move to Hawaii. 11 days to go.

    So i'm going to talk about another character Tia.

    So Tia is very opposite of William and Crystal. While they themselves are foils of each other. Tia has her own personality clashes with the two of them.

    First, she's a priestess of the god of fire and light, Daniel. So she views thigs as more "do right" then "law right". So she gets conflicted when Crystal and William do things that are lawful, but morally ambiguous. Crystal works the law to her advantage, and William takes it literally. So for example, necromancy is outlawed in the Rose Empire. Crystal takes this as "raising the dead" is against the law and uses other necromancy spells to giver her advantages. She doesn't use these spells in front of people who would obviously know what they are, but the uneducated and unmagical who doen't know any better, she pays no heed. William would see it says no "necromancy" and anything he does know about it would mean apprehension, for anything used from it's teachings. But he doesn't know anything about magic so Crystal gets away with it. Tia would see that necromancy as evil and morally wrong even if used for "good". So even if it saves someones life, it's an evil that should never be used. there is another way.

    Now Tia is shy as well. Never starts a conversation, speaks as few words as she can to those she knows nothing about, and is very introverted. I figured the story needed someone like this because a good portion of the people who read a lot, are introverts, me included. I don't go out of my way to talk to people but enjoy it when people approach me. I'm socially awkward at most times. So Tia is kind of a reflection of that.

    As far as her back story, She's Half-Elven and an orphan. The church of Daniel took her in when she was but a toddler and the church is all she's known. Being half-elf she looks younger than her actual age, but i get into the genetics of that in later volumes. I didn't think it was important in the story to tell why she's 23 but looks 17. There is a time and a place for world building. AS she grew up, she kept to herself, but always felt that Daniel was keeping his eye on her. Other Humans, Elves and even Gnomes were part of the church, but she could always feel that Daniel was giving her special attention. When she was chosen for the mission to help Crystal and William, she accepted it even though she had never left the city before. As the adventure goes on the first few chapters she doesn't speak much but forms a bond with Penelope, the Halfling driver for Crystals vardo. Penelope is an oddity like Tia as in there aren't many of their kind in Rose Harbor, but still find their place in such a massive city. Penelope talks about her adventures when she as a younger woman and it slowly brings Tia out of her shell. With Penelope befriending the priestess, this makes Crystal more curious and she ends up dragging Tia into stuff just to see how she reacts.

    This has both good and bad ramifications for Tia. At first, Tia is mortified as some of Crystal's behaviors like bathing nude in front of others and being completely callous of other's feelings, but this gives Tia some room to grow. Tia grows closer to Crystal and gives council to the noble woman that tempers her a bit, but also Crystal's ambitions and intuitions forces Tia to think about her place in life and in her church. Are the rules as unbending and Tia thinks they are or is the scriptures more subtle and open to interpretations depending on your point of view? Who does know what the gods really want? This gives Tia some insight as to the possibility on why her god wanted her to be near Crystal, William, and the others. Are the scriptures being misinterpreted wrong and if so, is it intentional or accidental?


    Oh ad side note. A vardo is a house carriage. Think gypsy wagon, but way fancier. Yes, Crystal is that vain that she needs the 1800's version of an RV to travel in.
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    #7
    Last entry before getting on my plane

    So i'm going to talk about Penelope, a female halfling in my book. As such she stands a whole 3 feet tall, long black hair, blue eyes, and light skinned. Unlike other characters, her ears are very long in proportion to her head. Elves and other fantasy races have pointed ears, but not much bigger than normal human, but her's are several inches long. This gives her much better balance and can hear much better than those around her. She isn't any faster than any human, and her size does make her physically weaker. At this time in her life, she's an older woman, having known Hellstromm family for almost 15 years, and has been employed by Jack for most of that time. She's a duality. On one side, she's sweet an innocent. Always optimistic and hopes for the best, but on the other, she's cynical. She understands the nature of the world is uncaring, and she has no trouble with meeting cruelty with cruelty. She uses anything at her disposal to get the job done. guns, knives, bare hands, sticks, dirt, or anything else. She was trained by the best to be the worse if it comes down to it, but only if called for.

    Penelope by trade is a cook, but she has hidden talents. Jack assigns her to be Crystal's personal cook, but also body guard, something Penelope has been doing secretly for those 15 years. Jack is very protective of his daughter but also knows that she's going to have a platoon of troopers around her, but in his experience, the guards you don't see are the one's that give you the most trouble. She's Crystal's personal driver as well. making her that much less assuming and spends a great deal talking to Tia along their trip.

    Penelope finds her size at a disadvantage at some points, as most things in the world are made for men, elves, and dwarves, but she doesn't let that stop her. She's shown that she can accomplish anything in the human world just fine. She has an outgoing personality, but plays things close to her chest. She is untrusting of others unless they have proven to be so. Something not easy being how often others have seen her diminutive size and tried to take advantage of her. Those who have proven to have her best interests in mind have her complete loyalty however. Jack Hellstromm was the only human to give not only trust in her, but offer her everything she could wish for, in exchange to be his little girls personal protector. At a young age, Crystal thought of Penelope as just another kid and would drag Penelope all over. As adults, Crystal gives her much respect and is the only person who isn't treated as an underling.

    In the book, Penelope allows me to offer information to what the bad guys are doing. She's great at information gathering and In my books, I don't tell the other side of the story. I'm not giving away voldemort plans or showing the amassing orc army under saron. I want things to be a real surprise. Its more exciting not knowing when the bad guys are attacking or what their plans are, but reveal them as the characters find out.

    I'm hoping you guys are liking this and think it's interesting. So far everyone who has read the book has given it a glowing review, especially on uniqueness.

    running gun fights and magic with flying ships and eldritch monsters is an odd combination with the 1800's. I hope to keep up the thill ride.