I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
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When I first used an elevator it was really uplifting!
But then it let me down.
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I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
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When I first used an elevator it was really uplifting!
But then it let me down.
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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.
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I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island.
But it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
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What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador
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My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I picked up my things and right.
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A photon goes to check in at the airport.
The baggage handler asks "Any luggage to check?"
The photon replies "No thanks, I'm travelling light."
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I once tried dating a tree. She told me to Spruce myself up a bit.
I ordered 4 Kindles from Amazon. They sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.
On the way home today the gritters were out and spread salt all over my car.
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My friend owns a DeLorean! It's fantastic. I asked her if she uses it much, but she says she only drives it from time to time.
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I have many jokes about paper, but they're all tearable.
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Would you like to hear a joke about Sodium? Na, I'm good.
Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.
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My friend told me that if he ever goes bald he’s getting rabbits tattooed on his head, from a distance they’ll look like hares.
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I dreamed about swimming in an ocean made out of orange last night. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.
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The spade was a truly ground-breaking invention.
I went to the zoo the other day, but it only had a single dog. It was a shihtzu.
2 melons wanted to get married in secret, but it turns out they cantaloupe.
You shouldn't tell Dad jokes if you're not a Dad, as it's something of a faux pa.
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Did you hear that Oxygen and Magnesium hooked up? I was like OMg!
Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.
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When I first used an elevator it was really uplifting!
But then it let me down.
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Dad 1: I've got ants!
Dad 2: So do I, but my ants are taller than yours.
Dad 1: I also have this tube of glue.
Dad 2: And I have this gallon tin of glue.
Dad 1: I've got bread!
Dad 2: You win... I can't handle that bread, what with my glue tin 'n taller ants.
"And when I saw the breadth of my domain, I wept, for there were no more worlds left to conquer."
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When you suffer with Insomnia and Amnesia...
You know something is keeping you awake, but can't think what the hell it is.