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Posted Fri 15 May, 2015 4:40 PM
Hello there!
Just a quick favour to ask of people; please play my foundry mission!
I made a foundry mission a few weeks back and it hasn't been reviewed yet so I was helping someone(s) could help me out?
It's called "Displacement" and its a short story about the Mirror Universe that I hope people will find enjoyable. It features space and ground combat and has (what I hope to be) a good balance of story content and action.
Please check it out and feel free to give me any feedback you may have, positive or negative, all is welcome!
Thanks again and I look forward to what people think.
Fleet Admiral
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Posted Fri 15 May, 2015 7:16 PM
I did give your mission a go, quite interesting, perhaps a few touch ups in the text, though I can't provide much insight with that. I left a rating of 5 starts but didn't leave an in game review, I can do this if you wish lol. For the most part, I think it had a nice balance of space and ground combat, it's not a long mission either, I can't really do long missions, for me those fall apart, so for me, it lasted the right amount of time!
The one thing I noticed was on the ground at the forcefield part, there is a gap above the door, where the forcefield doesn't cover, might need to fix that, not important but would look good if fixed. The doctor who stands outside might need to despawn when the fighting starts too.
Hope these thoughts help somewhat!
Admiral
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Posted Fri 15 May, 2015 9:31 PM
I too have given your foundry mission a spin and I have to say, I really enjoyed the narrative, this story and the action of the mission are well balanced and a very interesting reading material in the conversations between characters. I noticed a few things that could help improve the missions, some spelling and grammar corrections here and there, nothing major.
Like Three said, the forcefield placement is a little off, it would look better if fixed but its certainly nothing mission breaking. Also I noticed that some buttons are for map transfers and interactable objects such as the shuttle are just labelled "Interact" maybe changing the text on that button to give it more context to the mission might help improve the flow and continuity of the mission overall.
One last thing I would say that the ending is a little abrupt, maybe it could be improved by stretching it out a bit a few interactable sections for the end of the mission would bring it all to nice close.
Overall very enjoyable experience and I look forward to see what other content you can come up with in future! 
Admiral
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Posted Fri 15 May, 2015 9:35 PM
Outstanding work!
I can't add much more than what's been raised already. An excellent project, and I hope to see more to come!
I'd be delighted to offer any advice I have on understanding women. When I have some, I'll let you know.
CAPT. JEAN LUC PICARD
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Posted Fri 15 May, 2015 10:45 PM
Just completed your mission, enjoyable story, agrees with Three, a few touch ups required, other than that, very nice, well done Gave 5 stars
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Posted Sun 17 May, 2015 9:37 PM
Thank you very much for the kind words all!
I'll take the feedback on board and have a look into fixing the errors that have been pointed out.
Really glad to hear people enjoyed the story, perhaps I'll make a follow up some time soon.
Please feel free to keep any feedback coming, it will help to fine-tune the mission, and inform any I may make in future.
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Posted Mon 18 May, 2015 12:23 PM
How long has the MISSION been ... I will try some of your burned replicated MISSION. .
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